Everything is Stupid...

...That is, until you are the one to try something. Becasue let's be honest, you are the coolest person you know. You shoot awesome right out of your nostrils and leave a path of envious followers where ever you go.

So naturally you have combed the world of all that it has to offer and aquired a liking for only the latest and greatest, sometimes even the oldest and.....boldest? Anyway, you get the picture, because you are IT!

With all this power of dubbing something cool, why waste it on things that you haven't tried yet? Those things are all stupid aren't they?

What if some random joe off the street came up to you and said, "have you tried shark slamming yet? It's this great new thing where...." but by then you are already not interested be cause it is something that a) the pinnical of awesome, you, had not even heard of and b) quite frankly it sounds stupid.

But then a weird process begins. You think your life hasn't been changed in any form or fashion from this minor encounter with a crazy townsperson's rants about shark snatching or whatever he said. But for the next few weeks it's all you hear on the media screens and the word papers.

And when people ask you again if you do this new thing that is all the rage, you put on your I'm-too-good-for-this hat on and say, "No way. I'm far too busy doing other things like trying to keep all of my fantastical from falling out of my head and taxes." And just when you think you have beat them in a battle of wits and responsibility, they throw you a curveball.

"Alright, suit yourself."

This sends you into a spiral that few have been able to recover from.

FIRST OFF what makes them think I have a butler in my house putting on my suits? I have sucessfully mastered the art of dressing myself at the age of 14 and NO ONE is going to tell me otherwise!!!! I bet they don't even own a suit. Do I own a suit?

When you get off your high horse and remember that that was a  figure of speech, the real spiral begins.

It starts off as a cold sweat in the dead of night and a sudden sense of alarm which causes you to wake up in the middle of the night - shivering.

Since your immune system is top quality and there isn't a chance that a god such as you would be taken down by a microscopic virus, you sift through your mental memory box and try to remember what might have caused this moment of weakness. And then it hits you...


Shark slamming.


Now you have the chore of getting out of bed at midnight 30 and absorb all the information regarding this new fad. Alas, you will conform.

But you don't just conform, you take it to the next level. After realizing that shark slamming is the art of wrestling sharks for their teeth bits, your whole life exsistence is based on mastering shark slamming. You breath it. You drink it. You really can't do either of those because you can't eat or drink a verb but you catch my drift. It's all you know.

You're so good at this the ol' SS (that's what you call it and who ever doesn't is stupid) that people ask YOUR advice on the best technique or the best place to find a shark.

The last and final step to this madness is becoming the very thing you hoped you wouldn't. The scum of society. You are now the one who asks "Have you tried shark slamming yet?"

Oh how the mighty have fallen.

The good news is you now have permission from society to snub those who do not engage in this new found activity, especially if they haven't even heard of it. As a bonus you also receive 12000 more fantastical points to fit into your already overflowing noggin.

^^^^So what's the point of all those letters and words artistically placed to form some sort of saint-like diction and syntax? This happened to me. The story is about me. Not you. You are not that awesome. Get over yourself.

But it is true. All of it. Although my downfall was blogging. Not shark slamming because that sounds stupid.