Firstly, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! And happy other holidays that are just as equally as important but too complicated for me to spell. I hope everyone's December has treated them with much love and expensive gifts, or at least one of those.
Mine is going pretty swell, with the exception of my heathenistic urge to strangle my only brother every time he ribs on me for expressing my true self, like when I laugh, breathe, or talk in a British accent - which is amazazing by the way - but I'm rambling.
Because everyday of my life this week has been filled with blog worthy tales, I'm spreading them out in a mini-series of Christmas stories. Many of them aren't even Christmas themed so don't worry if you are uncomfortable with Christian based epics. Even still, I might forget many of the stories or even get bored so this whole series might end three stories in. With that long introduction, I give you "The Missing Cell phone."
For those of you who do not know enough about me to keep track of the most important dates in my life, my birthday, which is the same day as Magic Day, is on November 14. Since my latest age advancement, I have been trying to be more adult-y. It doesn't help that I say words like adult-y, but I'm doing my best.
Some of the new hobbies that I have tried to enjoy include news article reading, drinking coffee made of less than 50% sugar and creamer, and not crying when things go wrong, like when my shoe gets untied en route to class and I know that everyone that passes me is thinking, "looks like that chick missed the short bus."
I've been doing pretty well with these (Except the whole coffee thing. Technically its sweet cream with coffee flavoring. And technically I shouldn't even be drinking that because I risk hives with every mouth burning swig of the concoction.) but I still haven't mastered one of the basics of life that even stupid lazy cats can do - remember where I put things.
Yes, it seems like an easy task, but there is a cycle that I go through when I realize that I have misplaced an object. Here's an example:
And this happened about 54 times this week. I've lost everything from my souvenir bag to my sister and I usually find them in places that are normal and in the ordinary. Yesterday…
…I misplaced my cellphone. I figured this out while I was walking in a crowded theme park Christmas night. At first I was an adult and did the mature thing and retraced my footsteps and the last place I had it was my back pocket. Checked it, nothing. Then the usual cycle set in.
But I stopped short of crying, and realized that there was a simple way to finding the missing cellular device. I had my sister call it. Now here is where it gets embarrassing.
Good news is I found it. And so did a family behind me. Instead of placing the phone in my back pocket like I originally thought, I had slipped it between my jeans and my leggings. And yes, I do wear leggings under my jeans about 40% of the time because I am scared of getting pants-ed but if I do, I will be ready.
Anyway – jeans, cellphone, leggings, public embarrassment – when the phone went off, it started to vibrate as well as put on a light show in my pants that was less impressive that the fireworks presentation that we had just witnessed, but definitely more entertaining to the two people behind me.
They must have seen it go off before I was able to feel it because I heard them burst into laughter and point at my legs, and since my figure is fantastic and I have the fashion sense of insert famous designer name here, I ruled out those as being the butt of their joke. It wasn’t until the vibrations started to gyrate my middle thigh that I realized where my phone had gone.
Oh but the fun didn’t stop there. My new task was to try and figure out how to get my phone out of my pants without falling behind from my family pack- because I wasn’t about to tell them that I had to stop transit in order to fish some electronic flashing vibrating thing out of my pants – or make it so obvious that the family behind me would have a story to tell at the Christmas party they were going to later that night.
While the Christmas pants light up show was still going on, I reached in my jeans with both hands and searched the place, all the while my audience behind me was enjoying the whole seen. After a full minute of searching, I retrieved my cell phone, but lost my dignity. Oh well, at least I didn’t cry!
Mine is going pretty swell, with the exception of my heathenistic urge to strangle my only brother every time he ribs on me for expressing my true self, like when I laugh, breathe, or talk in a British accent - which is amazazing by the way - but I'm rambling.
Because everyday of my life this week has been filled with blog worthy tales, I'm spreading them out in a mini-series of Christmas stories. Many of them aren't even Christmas themed so don't worry if you are uncomfortable with Christian based epics. Even still, I might forget many of the stories or even get bored so this whole series might end three stories in. With that long introduction, I give you "The Missing Cell phone."
For those of you who do not know enough about me to keep track of the most important dates in my life, my birthday, which is the same day as Magic Day, is on November 14. Since my latest age advancement, I have been trying to be more adult-y. It doesn't help that I say words like adult-y, but I'm doing my best.
Some of the new hobbies that I have tried to enjoy include news article reading, drinking coffee made of less than 50% sugar and creamer, and not crying when things go wrong, like when my shoe gets untied en route to class and I know that everyone that passes me is thinking, "looks like that chick missed the short bus."
I've been doing pretty well with these (Except the whole coffee thing. Technically its sweet cream with coffee flavoring. And technically I shouldn't even be drinking that because I risk hives with every mouth burning swig of the concoction.) but I still haven't mastered one of the basics of life that even stupid lazy cats can do - remember where I put things.
Yes, it seems like an easy task, but there is a cycle that I go through when I realize that I have misplaced an object. Here's an example:
And this happened about 54 times this week. I've lost everything from my souvenir bag to my sister and I usually find them in places that are normal and in the ordinary. Yesterday…
…I misplaced my cellphone. I figured this out while I was walking in a crowded theme park Christmas night. At first I was an adult and did the mature thing and retraced my footsteps and the last place I had it was my back pocket. Checked it, nothing. Then the usual cycle set in.
But I stopped short of crying, and realized that there was a simple way to finding the missing cellular device. I had my sister call it. Now here is where it gets embarrassing.
Good news is I found it. And so did a family behind me. Instead of placing the phone in my back pocket like I originally thought, I had slipped it between my jeans and my leggings. And yes, I do wear leggings under my jeans about 40% of the time because I am scared of getting pants-ed but if I do, I will be ready.
Anyway – jeans, cellphone, leggings, public embarrassment – when the phone went off, it started to vibrate as well as put on a light show in my pants that was less impressive that the fireworks presentation that we had just witnessed, but definitely more entertaining to the two people behind me.
They must have seen it go off before I was able to feel it because I heard them burst into laughter and point at my legs, and since my figure is fantastic and I have the fashion sense of insert famous designer name here, I ruled out those as being the butt of their joke. It wasn’t until the vibrations started to gyrate my middle thigh that I realized where my phone had gone.
Oh but the fun didn’t stop there. My new task was to try and figure out how to get my phone out of my pants without falling behind from my family pack- because I wasn’t about to tell them that I had to stop transit in order to fish some electronic flashing vibrating thing out of my pants – or make it so obvious that the family behind me would have a story to tell at the Christmas party they were going to later that night.
While the Christmas pants light up show was still going on, I reached in my jeans with both hands and searched the place, all the while my audience behind me was enjoying the whole seen. After a full minute of searching, I retrieved my cell phone, but lost my dignity. Oh well, at least I didn’t cry!
I'm proud of you, Brie Brie. I just knew you'd make friends over break, I just knew it! And also I find myself regretting that I didn't try to contact you via cellular device more often as of yesterday. Oh well, opportunity missed I suppose. Though you know that this made me chuckle, and I hope to have Brie related dreams tonight... (but more on that when I next encounter your humbling presence)
ReplyDeleteKeep 'em coming. <3