Guest Post: Wh*res and Chihuahua

Sorry for the absence, I've been busy to the max! SO much so that I didn't even write this post.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not the coolest one in my family. Well, neither is my younger sister, but she is funnier than me. And didn't you know it but her small baby hands can write too? With the same hilariousness and same terrible grammar. 

Here's one of her lovely stories about her life as a band geek that you should enjoy because I said so.

The 3 choices we had for our 2013 band trip location, New York, Washington dc, and Los Angeles. The high school and the incoming middle school band kids were given slips to vote where the wanted to go. I would have thought that the other two wouldn’t stand a chance against the big apple, but I was very mistaken. LA won under the impression that we would be hitting up them beaches, which was exactly what we didn’t do. Anyway, a couple months into 2013 it was time to set out on our week long vacation.

We arrived in LA and were driven to our hotel in our fancy busses, The Embassy Suites. Next to the Ritz, that is probably the best hotel I’ve ever stayed at. The inside had balconies surrounding all four walls, and was a beautiful indoor pond thingy. The girls were stationed on the fourth floor, and the boys were on the third. A little after we arrived, a high school choir checked in. 

They were the mostly boys in the choir, and were no doubt the most attractive boys in the universe.  They were posted just out of our reach, on the magical floor five. Anyway, we had a blast going around LA, living it up! We visited Hollywood museums, went to a Broadway play, took a dinner cruise, etc. It was probably the most fun anyone can legally have, until, one particular night in the hotel.

Apparently a fraternity had booked the ballroom in the hotel for an awesome party. ‘Awesome’ only pertained to their side, for the rest of us human beings, it was awful. The (insert college of choice) students were literally a riot. They girls, were dressed like they were supposed to be working the corner that night, and I’m a billion percent sure everyone was drunk. It was quite a display for both the college and high school boys. 

In an attempt to resolve the situation before them, our director tried to get us as far away for the drama as possible. As the night progressed, the party got more intense and the stress levels of every adult in the hotel, was through the roof. The hotel staff warned the party animals that if they kept at the rate they were at, they would be forced to shut the party down. However, sensing that they wouldn't comply with these regulations, our band directors took it into their own hands to call up the coppers and shut them down.

Taking refuse on the fourth floor balconies, the vastly growing viewing party and I watched in amazement as the college students were being escorted out by the cops. I would have thought surely no one was that ignorant to get their self thrown out of a respectable establishment, but hey. Nevertheless, we sat with bags of popcorn and candy as all the events transpired. It all was starting to clear up, the party had officially been terminated but then, all of a sudden my fellow onlookers and I heard a bark.

I really wish this story was made up but I assure, you it isn't  Now this respectable hotel I can assure you has a no pet’s rule, which is why it was such an odd thing to hear barking. We looked of the edge of the balcony, to see a Chihuahua peeking out of the bars from the third floor. Worried about the safety and well being of the dog, a handful of us rushed to the elevator. When we arrived, the dog seemed to be in a panicked state (not uncommon for a Chihuahua, but still). Our attempts of capturing the dog were very unsuccessful, as his speed was surprising. A lady emerged from her room and I tried to ask her if she knew the origins of the animal, and to be honest, I don’t think she actually spoke English judging by the way she looked at me. She retreated back into her room without a word, and I resumed trying to capture the pup. After about 3 minutes, the lady opened her door and the dog ran inside, leaving us all very confused. However, that was one problem solved, and there were still many more left to be deciphered.

Most of the college students were cleared out as the pup search and rescue team and I got back to our seats near the balcony. People still crowed around chatting and snacking, while we watched a college couple fighting with one of the hotel staff about being able to go up the elevator. Obviously, they didn't have a room here and were just trying to get away from the cops. Thinking the matter had been resolved; the staff member moved on to shoo others out of the hotel. While backs were turned, the couple got into the elevator (which was glass so we could all see them) and they went up to the top floor, and there they continued on to a secluded nook. I for one found this to be particularly peculiar, seeming as though they were up there for quite some time. That is until a cop went up there after about 20 minutes, and from where we stood, he had a pretty stern talking to them before they came back down and left.

 I don’t know if you have ever been kicked out of an establishment, but I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to actually leave the premises. Unfortunately the college party animals and I don’t share this universal understanding, as they started the after party in the parking lot. One of the boys on the third floor informed us that we could watch it out of the floor to ceiling window that was at the end of the hall on our floor. We gathered against the glass and saw very many unpleasant sites. 

One of these was a group of student in a circle smoking what I hope was a cigarette, but judging by all the crazy they had already cooked up, it was probably something illegal. Another thing we saw was a boy and girl chatting it up, when along came another girl who did not seem to like girl Number 1. She slapped Number 1 and stormed off, leaving the boy looking very confused. Number 2 went off to a group of girls and seemed to be boasting  to them about what had just transpired. Number 1 cried as the boy awkwardly comforted her. Out of nowhere the couple looked up at the hotel, or more precisely, the third floor window.

 All of our ninja modes were activated at that point, as we all scattered to the shadows. Maybe we had all just imagined that they saw us, I mean there no way they could have noticed 13 teenage girls smashed up against a window watching them. When we felt it was safe to resume our watch, we glanced over to see number 1 standing with arms folding looking directly at us. Convinced they would somehow threaten our lives, the viewing party and I decided to retire to our respective rooms for some much needed sleep. It had been a long day full of site-seeing, partying, cops, and escaped pets.